as the SNL musical guest. When it comes to the Chili Peppers, I'm usually on board no matter what.
They're incredible musicians and one of the few bands with a live act that sounds better than their studio work.
Like I said, I'm usually on board. This was not one of those times.
The guys were playing "Dani California", the first single off of their new album, and something wasn't sitting right.
It's not that the song's first solo is basically just Led Zeppelin's "All of my love", and it's not that the second
seems pretty heavily inspired by "Purple Haze". Both are possible coincidences,
and quite forgivable. Suddenly the real problem hit me, and I will not ignore it any longer:
Why do the Red Hot Chili Peppers keep singing about states?
It all started innocently enough back in 1999 with Californication. What seemed like just a clever pun was a red flag in hindsight,
and the band has insisted on bludgeoning us with states ever since.
They mention five in the album's first song alone, and it just kept coming from there. "Dani California" features six states
(five of which they hadn't mentioned before), and they throw in a song with Michigan in the title a few tracks later.
I don't know if they have kids in elementary school, I don't know if they're auditioning to be the next Rockapella,
I don't know what the hell's going on. But enough is enough.
Since they've been making albums since I was three, I'm not going to tell the Red Hot Chili Peppers how to do their job.
But I will say this:
Guys, if you're reading this (and I assume you are), please stop singing about states. I get it, there's a lot of states.
Damn near 50. How about you sing about some other places you've been.
Ever been to Canada? They've got all sorts of provinces you could sing about.
Here, I'll get the ball rolling. The capital of Saskatchewan is "Regina". It rhymes with "Vagina". You're welcome.
Listen, I understand it's tough to stay fresh for decades, so I won't give you that hard a time about this.
Just admit you've been slacking, promise to try a bit harder, and we'll be just fine.
Well, while you're clearing the air, why don't you also admit Will Ferrell's your drummer.
After that, all is forgiven.
vs. 
(Ever see Will Ferrell at a Chili Peppers concert? Didn't think so)
